Month: December 2016

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NOW I KNOW

012                                                                                                               29 December 2016

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – THE PAIN OF INFLEXIBILITY

I visit my friend who trained as a Doctor in Pharmacology at least once a week. He originally came from China over 25 years ago and has been retired from full-time work for about 10 years.

Since late 2014 he has been suffering eye problems. It started with AMD (Aging Macular Degeneration) and then his specialist decided to remove a cataract from his right eye. Normally only 4% of people having this operation have difficulties. Unfortunately, my friend suffered an artery break during the operation causing him to become blind in this eye.

However, the health authorities would not admit to their mistake. So now, some three years later after many eyes, injections to stall the AMD he is blind in his right eye and cannot read from his left. He, with my assistance, is laying a complaint against the Local Health Board.

As an intellectual, his whole life has revolved around reading and study. Now, with the loss of his sight his whole world has changed and he has become bitter, blaming and frustrated. In the past few month, on top of the painful side-effects of the monthly injections, he has developed a stiffness in his neck which makes it difficult to move physically.

I checked the writings of Annette Noontil in her amazing book, “The Body is the Barometer of the Soul so be Your Own Doctor.” Under “Neck Stiffness” I read that the possible cause could be:-

“You are judging others and yourself and not changing to a live and let live attitude because you are inflexible and not in your feelings.”

Spot on! Exactly my friend’s situation.

So, have I explained this to him? Yes, I tried to, but he would not let me read the above passage because “he is a scientist and does not accept non-scientific material”. An unfortunate example of his inflexibility!

So here is a case where you can take a horse to water but can’t make it drink!

Learnings– So what does a person learn from being inflexible? Is it the experience of having a strength of character or being strong holding onto beliefs through personal suffering? However, being inflexible gives a person the opportunity to change their views and release the pain and anguish they are going through!  But how long does a person hold to their miss-guided beliefs before they look for a better way?

And what have I learned? Possibly, understanding but more likely compassion and detachment. While I feel sorry for my friend, I see his problem as his lesson to be learned and I give help but I don’t become emotionally involved.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learned?

 

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NOW I KNOW

011                                                                                                              28 December 2016

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

STORY – YEAR 22–Hardworking Chinese Girl

At a Business School where he was a part-time Tutor, Michael met Jia, one of his female students sweeping the corridor floor. Upon inquiring, she said her parents had reduced her allowance so she had to work part-time to earn enough to live. He was impressed with her commitment.

Some years later, Michael employed her in his floriculture company and they traveled together to China on business where Jia would be his translator. Eventually, they ended up in a small village in the foothills of the Himalayas, several hours drive from Chengdu in Sichuan Province. Fortunately planting the flower bulbs only took two days and they had left China three weeks before the area was devastated by a magnitude 8.8 earthquake with its epicenter at the village.

Two years later Jia gained PR (Personal Residency) to live in New Zealand and then immediately married her boyfriend so his visa problems were removed as he automatically got his PR as well. The next move, with the financial help of their parents, was that they were able to buy a house to live in.  The house, in the suburbs, had three bedrooms, which was large enough for themselves, their children and for their parents to stay in when they visited from China.

Now she is happily married and she and her husband have sold their first home and bought a larger property, as she expecting her first child.

Check out the complete story at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/murraykibblewhite

 Learnings– Jia learned several lessons from her experiences.

First, every experience reflected her intentions from a study, needing a part time job, being offered full time work, gaining residency, getting married and eventually getting a home.

Secondly, she found joy and peace from breaking free from cultural restrictions by travelling to New Zealand on her own for education, working in several jobs, marriage, a home and eventually parenthood.

Michael learnt that his first impression of Jia as a hard working Chinese girl was a strong indication of a person who would be successful.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

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