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Now I Know

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053                                                                                                                   10-08-2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW TO UNDERSTAND KOREANS!

My Chinese flatmate, who speaks Mandarin, Japanese, Korean and English said he had enjoyed laughing at a Korean film called “…….Embarrassment”.

In the video a Korean man visits the home of his girlfriend for the first time.  Here he meets her older brother. In accordance with their culture the boyfriend speaks respectively to her brother in a subservient way.

Then it is discovered that his girlfriend’s brother is younger than the boyfriend. So the approach changes and the brother now becomes respectful to the boyfriend and the brother becomes subservient.

After some further conversation it is revealed that the brother had completed his compulsory military training earlier than the boyfriend. This then changes the aspect of respect. So the boyfriend now has to respect his girlfriend’s brother, who was younger than him!

From a Western point of view, this matter of showing respect and acting in a subservient way seems unnecessary and excessive.

When compared to the culture of “treating everyone as equals” here in New Zealand,  Asians, particularly the Korean culture have to learn to act differently towards Kiwi’s as compared to other Asians.

They need to have double personalities!

 Learnings

As shown above, Asians living in a Western culture need to learn how to deal with Western people.

However, there is a huge learning for Western people to understand and respect Asian cultures as well.

In both cases the learning is that there is a requirement for both cultures to operate on a dual basis, knowing when to apply their own culture and when to respect others culture.

When I was young we would say – “When in Rome do as the Romans do!”

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

Humble

051                                                                                                              06 August 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – IT IS HARD TO LEARN HUMILITY!!

Several days ago I was invited to attend a small function with my oldest friend. It turned out it was his birthday. For me, I have reached the stage in my life that I do not bother with celebrating my birthday and I certainly don’t keep track of others!

At the function were some new people in the life of my friend and I was pleased for him. While I was there I reflected upon my friend’s life and realized, in my opinion, that he was here to learn humility!

As a young man he was very very competitive in his sports – rugby, cricket and table tennis. As well, to be on top of his game he became very assertive and arrogant. This attitude then transferred into his business activities where he achieved financial success and became a “millionaire”, not once but three times! He lived in large homes in the wealthy suburbs and drove around in European cars. He was a member of the “right” tennis clubs, played golf and his children went to the top schools.

You may ask, why did he become a millionaire three times? The answer is because he lost his wealth three times! His business activities failed three times.

Now he is the caretaker of a large block of apartments living with his wife in a small apartment in the building. On the way out after the function, my friend showed me how clean and tidy he maintained the walkways, drive, and gardens. He said he had received a bonus from the residents because of the quality of his work. He was proud of what he was doing.Now, he did not need to live in a fashionable house or drive the latest expensive car or own a successful business to be happy.

He had learned humility!

Learnings

Your learnings do not become clear and obvious when you are young. Even as you grow the fact you are repeating a situation over and over again does not register as a learning experience. A coincidence, maybe, but not as a learning experience.

It is only, when much water has passed under the bridge, that you realize you are repeating the same mistakes and you change and finally become happy.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

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050                                                                                                                    04 August 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – WHAT TO DO AFTER LOSING. TRANSFORM!

The other day I had a meeting with an ex-client that lasted five hours! We had not seen each other for over twelve months so we had a lot to catch up.

My first impression of her was that she looked, sounded and acted with purpose and passion. She looked wonderful and gave the impression of vibrancy!

Why? That was the question I asked her because I knew of the difficulties she had faced over the past years. Some would expect the pain and disappointment she had suffered would leave her scared and bitter for the rest of her life.

She had gone through a traumatic custody battle with her ex-husband and had lost the right to be responsible for her 10-year-old daughter. As well, in the past twelve months, she had applied for a grant to help fund the start-up of her business. She had not been successful.

For many, these disappointments would be too hard to bear.  But not my friend. She had moved on from the custody issue and had re-financed her home to gain funds for her business. She had transformed.

As well, she had leased out her home and downsized to rent a room that was financially advantageous to her.

We also discussed how we could work together importing items from her overseas contacts.

She was now ready to start on a major overseas trip and she was positive, committed and in control.

Learnings

Every challenge or obstacle you face is a learning opportunity.

My friend learnt to move on, transform and re-organise her life and was now looking forward to her next adventure.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

couple 

049                                                                                                             02 July 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER

Recently I had a long discussion with an ex-client about relationships. She had been married twice and the last divorce happened eight years ago.Now she was living with her twelve year old daughter sharing her with her ex-husband who had re-married and lived nearby.

Having suffered some physical disability she was now able to refocus on her career. This time she wanted to be the boss. This time she wanted to own her own business mainly to be able to work at times that suited her and to make it easier to look after her daughter.

She disclosed she had re-connected with a male friend from schooldays who was still living in South Africa looking after his elderly mother and had never married. She said that she was aroused and became interested in him after a phone conversation withhim when she had returned to her home country several months previously. She admitted that her interest in him was probably sparked by his comment that he had a crush on her from schooldays and she in turn was lonely as she was getting over a break up with a boyfriend.

However, during a recent international call he became upset with her and their disagreement led to him declining to talk with her. She was unsure what was likely to happen now. She asked me what I thought.

In my eyes the chances of this relationship ever developing on a sound basis was unlikely. This was because with each partner in another country and with responsibilities prohibiting either one shifting to the country of the other, the possibilities of getting together were remote. As well, their interests were quite different as were their values.

There are many matters to contemplate when considering a long term relationship. A schoolboy crush or feeling lonely are not sufficient for a full time connection.

Learnings

The learning here is for both people to realise that attraction alone, is not enough.

There are many issues that need to be considered, and with both parties living in different countries, each with their own major responsibilities, a long tern association at this stage is not possible.

Finally, having read my article she said the lesson for her was, “there is a bigger plan for me than surrendering to mediocrity”.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

Mount 

048                                                                                                               28 July 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – GOING BEYOND MATERIALISM

Ramtha, page 96 says, “You all made the journey. That is not only splendid of you, it is also rather daring of you, and there is a bit of risk involved.  There is a great possibility, through the transfiguration of the great immortal self into the material plane, of losing one’s identity and become wholly embroiled in survival. And, alas, that is what most of humanity has done.”

When comparing Ramtha’s approach to that of Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs it, in my opinion, becomes obvious that most people stay on the first two levels, Survival (Physiological) and Safety, of the Hierarchy. These are the levels of Materialism.

For those who take the risk to evolve further, then the next three levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs are required: –

3rd level – Love and Belonging by participation in Groups

4th level – Self Esteem by becoming Recognised for Yourself

5th level – Self Actualisation through creating own ideas

Ask yourselfdo you want to remain entrapped in Materialism always worrying about your income and expenses, how to grow your asset values and wanting to live a “better” life?

Why not tryto become more than you presently are? Join a group or club and become involved with something you are passionate about.

Then take the lead and get others to join you in developing your ideas and desires.

All the time, look for opportunities to express your ideas, such as daily writing your ideas in a journal, add to a model or craft work you have developed or draw, write or plan your own thoughts.

Now is the time to move on!

Learnings

Every person needs to go beyond the first and second levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to become what they are fully capable of.

Learn to participate in Groups and become a Leader.

Learn to express your own ideas by writing a book or poetry; drawing or painting; play a musical instrument or write your own music; become an actor or dancer; design clothes, houses or software! The list is endless.

Start today. Create something today and every day.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

Bande 

047                                                                                                      7 July 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW TO DEAL WITH RACISM

My Chinese lady friend suffers from bouts of depression. Often they are caused by her becoming upset by racial slurs and comments made to her and her Chinese friends. I was surprised by the depth of her feelings and the number and types of racial prejudices.

Last night we spoke by phone twice about her friend who has Angilicized his Chinese name but still was not considered for a job interview, even though he was well experienced. So I searched Google and found three articles which I sent to her.

The first article said“The Human Rights Commission in New Zealand figures showed most racial allegations stemmed from situations in the workplace (866), the public sector (795), or the provision of goods and services (553).The commission assisted 775 complainants, took no action on 247, and resolved 157 complaints although the outcome of 1725 cases were unknown.Of those who disclosed their ethnicities, Asians laid the most complaints (601), followed by Caucasians (580), Maori (398), and Middle Eastern and Pacific people (fewer than 100 each).”

The second article “Spoonley described the country’s racism as being in three levels; casual racism where people dismiss others and make jokes; racism targeted at recent migrants, a “recent dynamic”; and the third “ugly” racism on social media.However, he said discussions around racism needed to stay in the open.

“Everybody has a stake in this, and we should all say what we think … but give it respect.

“We need leaders to provide some direction and some substance to the debate … because as soon as it goes online the debate gets very ugly, very quickly.”

The third article is from an interview of a Chinese business woman. “Yang said she had come to accept racist comments as a reality of being a New Zealand-born Chinese.

“I have been stopped abruptly in supermarkets in Gisborne –  some people having never interacted or spoken to an Asian person before,” she said.

“I’ve been screamed at by carloads of people on more than three occasions in Hamilton … I have been stopped in car parks on my way to the public toilets by groups of boys to jeer at me.

“Heck, it happened to me right outside my house the other week at the traffic lights through my car window where a guy looked at me dead set in the eye and yelled ‘nihaochingchong’.”

Yang said it was “awkward” growing up in a country where, as a child, she was constantly shown that because of her skin colour, she was not worthy to be here and would never truly be considered a New Zealander.

“You live a split identity, neither here nor there,” she said.

“But as you grow out of that childlike state of wanting to ‘belong’, your identity and your roots forge deeper still.”

The last sentence was, in my opinion was the most important comment made. She was now indifferent toand looked down on the person making the racist comments as she had a different learning to the one being experienced by the racist protagonist.

Learnings

My Chinese lady friend needs to learn to let others say what they life as they are entitled to say what they like. But she has to learn to remain aloof and separate from their comments as she is learning to be independent autonomous with self-control so she does not attract such remarks in the future.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

Now I Know

Live in the moment

046                                                                                                                20 July 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – WHY LIVE IN THE MOMENT?

James Redfield in “The Twelfth Insight” page 45 says, “Expecting Synchronicity was now fully ingrained in me, so I focused on keeping the truth of our longer content fully in mind. Immediately, I felt more awake and alert, right on the edge of unfolding events.”

Synchronicity, as defined by Carl Jung is that events are “meaningful coincidences” if they occur with no causal relationship yet seem to be meaningfully related.

An example I have experienced was being relaxed and aware I expected to receive what I desired when I explained my App to a person who suggested having a separate screen on which to record successes as well as performance outcomes. I had not considered this option so being aware I saw the benefit immediately.

Redfield on page 63 says, “When you seek Alignment and think how to be of service, you begin to draw people into your life who are there to help you. And then your Synchronicity and your dreams take off.”

Another example is being consciously aware of what is happening each moment of your life so that, for example, you speak to the person sitting next to you and find they can help you with a current challenge you have.

Finally, on page 127 Redfield says, “One tip or being on the alert for a guidance was to constantly ask yourself, “Why did I think that now?’ My preferred questions are, “What am I learning from this?”

As a Silva Mind Control graduate, I am aware of an approach to live in the moment by keeping my brain waves in “Alpha” rather than in the higher brain waves of “Beta”. This approach attracts to my events and people on a Synchronic basis.

Learnings

I learned that living in the moment means expecting Synchronicity and knowing that the answer will be given.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learned?

Now I Know

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045                                                                                                                   07 July 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – TRUST YOURSELF

Recently I met a Chinese ex-student who was seeking entry into New Zealand under the Entrepreneur Work Visa scheme.

Her younger sister was also with her who had a successful business exporting products from New Zealand into China such as bottled water.

However, the challenge to my friend was that she was a trained medical doctor who had 26 years’ experience working in hospitals in China. Now, she wanted to change countries and careers!

Immigration New Zealand is very demanding in their assessment of business propositions and I was surprised that she had made a submission that was not based upon her own business experience.

Over coffee, she explained she had the support of her sister and brother-in-law and it was their insistence that she had completed the application. However, she felt they were moving too fast but she had let them override her feelings.

I checked with another Chinese lady who was a successful Immigration Consultant who explained that the results of the previous month’s EWV applications were not good. Of the 20 EWV Applications only three were approved!

Later my ex-student sent me several texts explaining she did not feel confident about her Business Plan Application but had followed what her sister and brother-in-law had insisted!

While I helped her answer the questions raised by INZ I sensed she knew she did not have the right experience that would gain approval from INZ.

Learnings

My Doctor friend knew inside her that she should slow down and consider more carefully the approach she was making to Immigration New Zealand.

While she knew why her sister and brother-in-law were pushing her, it was not the right way at this time.

She has learned that business matters in New Zealand are different to those in China.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

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044                                                                                                            21 June 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES

In the “10th Insight” by James Redfield and Carol Adrienne in the last chapter, “Holding the Vision” page 324 they quote Elizabeth Jenkins who said:-

“This is how I receive messages and keep going forward,” said Jenkins. “I was following the symbols that had the energy for me. That led me to the next point in my story. I then knew what I had to do. I was able to go to the next people I had to meet. The literal meaning of something doesn’t matter as much as seeing the signs and symbols as messages. You flow with the energy pattern. The form is unimportant and shouldn’t take precedence over the energy flow.”

Recently I experienced this situation for myself when I interviewed eight clients over two successive days, who I was to help them prepare their Business Plans.

At this stage of my business life, I could feel important changes were likely to happen so I was mentally prepared for an increase in business activity. The issue for me was my ability to handle the extra workload.

For years I had always had a Personal Assistant to help me and now I sensed I would need help again.

Therefore, with this mindset, I was very interested when one of my new clients had been the PA for the CEO of a major Local Government organisation and had left to start up her own business offering mobile beauty services.

Could she also offer mobile Secretarial Services as well?

Today we met for the second time over a coffee and she said, ‘Yes I can help you!”

Is this coincidence or like attracted like?

Learnings

My learning was to flow with the energy pattern and be ready for opportunities that arose.

Likewise, her learning was to be aware of opportunities as they appeared and take them rather than investigate, be critical of and dismiss the event.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?