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Now I Know

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NOW I KNOW

111                                                                                                     10-14-2018

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation we can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life. Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW TO GET A CLOSE LOVING RELATIONSHIPSUBJECTRELATIONSHIPS

My Chinese Professor friend believes there is now a rise in the Matriarchal (Female based) system at the expense of the Patriarchal (Male dominated) system. He calls it a “Transition Period”.

In his opinion this “Transition Period” places greater demands upon females. One of the areas that needs more attention is what causes many of the mental stress and issues now being experienced by females

CAUSES

One of the causesare ”Enduring Vulnerabilities” which are the result of surviving painful events and relationships during our early lives. Examples of these are quoted from “The Relationship Cure” by John M. Gottman:-

·        Death of a loved one

·        Being assaulted or physically abused

·        Any form of sexual assault

·        Witnessing violence

·        End of a significant relationship

·        Marital problems

·        Getting fired

·        Failing at school

·        Loss of belongings from a natural disaster

·        Abandonment

·        Emotional abuse

·        Life-threatening illness

·        Depression

·        Living with addiction

·        Surviving war, terrorism or civil strife.

An example could be a women in her mid-thirties who has never had a close loving relationship with a man because of a situation where in her early teens she moved with her family to another country, left her friends, had difficulty meeting new people and lost the close support of her father because he had a demanding job.

She felt abandoned and now cannot trust being close to a man as she is scared of experiencing the pain again. She hides behind her extended family obligations so that she has an excuse of being too busy to develop a relationship with a man.

OTHER SIGNS

Often a woman with “Enduring Vulnerabilities” become a “BBIIIIIGS”, another name I have created, as they find it hard to form a close loving relationship with a male. This term “BBIIIIIGS” can be explained bythe main characteristics they show. These are:-

B         Beautiful         Attract sexual predators

B         Bossy

I          Intelligent       Often highly qualified

I          Independent

I          Impatient        Often very demanding

I          Intolerant

I          Intimidating   Scare men away

G         Girl

S         Successful       Does not need a man for financial support

An example could be a women who is successful in her career as a solicitor or accountant. In her daily business relationships she is professional, efficient and successful. However, when she returns to her smart modern apartment her female flatmate has to listen to and watch her other personality appear – lonely, unsure, insecure, anxious about how others see her and unhappy about how she looks. The effects of having an “Enduring Vulnerability” are with you your whole life.

WHAT TO DO

So what are the steps for getting a close loving relationship:-

First females need to know and understand their “Enduring Vulnerabilities”, remove them and then replace them with “Female Vulnerabilities” a name I have created for what a male would refer to as a “softness in her character that requires his protection”.

HOW TO CHANGE

The steps to follow are:-

1) Carry out a self-evaluation such as those created by John M Gottman in his book “The Relationship Cure”.

2) Accept that through re-incarnation you have chosen these issues so you must also have the power to rectify them.

3) Organise to see a Life Coach or Psychologist either online or in person. Only approach people that you have received a positive referral.

4) Arrange to have a clearing either in person or online. Once again onlyapproach people that you have received a positive referral.

5) Use a self-management app to help make your changes.

6) Adopt a new personality and create your own “Feminine Vulnerability” that will attract and hold your new loving male partner.

EXPECT TO CHANGE

In your meditation go into a Parallel Universe and live the life you want building on the positive feelings you are creating. Enjoy feeling and seeing yourself having achieved your new life.

Learning

So what is the learning here?

There is worldwide change happening with the rise of women taking more responsibility.

As well, there is an increase in the number of women experiencing “Enduring Vulnerabilities” which restricts them in achieving close loving relationships.

The lesson is to follow the six steps to change so you can create your own reality,overcome your “Enduring Vulnerability” and so become happier.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what is the real lesson to be learnt?

How to use:-

1) Accept you need to change your Attitude and Actions on a daily basis.

2) Read, view, discuss and learn other ways. Set time aside daily to study.

3) Practice a new action until it becomes a better habit. Then discuss with your friends.

Check out these links:-

To the blog: – https://projectlel.wordpress.com/

10 RELATIONSHIP TIPS EVERYONE NEEDS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qxJOXdf8q8

Your Comments Welcome:-

Your comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Please record them on the blog.

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Now I Know

life

NOW I KNOW

110                                                                                                                       07-10-2018

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation we can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW THE MIND INFLUENCES REALITY     SUBJECT BELIEFS

 It was an illuminating day with two major reasons.

First I watched the video How the Mind Influences Reality + 3 Ways to Control Manifestation and leant these points:-

  • Most people only think they are a material person and don’t consider the powerful “Sub-Consciousness” that controls us.
  • Our limited perception means we follow a linear time based journey, but our mind can chose different directions at each moment.
  • So our five senses are only electrical signals in our brain, Therefore we are not part of the outside world, because the world is inside us.
  • The world is a mirror or a reflection of what we are which means our mind can take control.
  • Unfortunately, most people let the brain run on a default programmre and do not realise that it is a machine to be used in a purposeful manner.
  • We can consciously alter our brain to create our own reality.

The three suggestions of how you make this happen are: –

1) Go Outside Your Normal Routine- Of the 60,000 thoughts we make each day over 90% are the same as the previous day so challenge yourself with new thoughts.

2) Dream Yourself Into a New Reality. – Choose your dreams as they will become your reality.

3) Tell Yourself the Best Feeling Story – Choose the stories you want to dream about. Make them positive and happy. Go into Parallel Universes for the new experience.

The second major event of the day was meeting Xiao Yu, a Chinese Professor of Buddhism based in Beijing, who was visiting New Zealand. He is the author of a new work yet to be published called the Diamond Sutra: “Diamond Prajnaparamita Sutra”. Paramita is a Sanskrit word .Through his wife as a translator I was able to have a brief discussion with him and these were the main points:-

  • Worldwide there is a reduction of followers of a “One God” concept and a rise of an “Overall Spirit” approach to beliefs.
  • There is a link between three major beliefs such as Toltec (Mexico and Peru), Taoism (China) and Tantra (India) referred to as the “3T’s” where the theme of their beliefs is “Way of Life”.
  • These concepts support a “New Age” approach that civilization at present is in a process of transition on a worldwide scale.

 

 

Learning

So what is the learning here?

There is worldwide change happening in our belief systems.

Understand that your thoughts create your reality.

The lesson is to practise creating new positive thoughts all the time so you can create your own reality, link into the “Way of Life” movement and so become happier.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what is the real lesson to be learnt?

How to use:-

1) Accept you need to change your Attitude and Actions on a daily basis.

2) Read, view, discuss and learn other ways. Set time aside daily to study.

3) Practice a new action until it becomes a better habit. Then discuss with your friends.

Check out these links:-

To the blog:  – https://projectlel.wordpress.com/

 How the Mind Influences Reality + 3 Ways to Control Manifestation (law of attraction)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUJDQ8H5Efc

 Your Comments Welcome:-

Your comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Please record them on the blog.

 

 

Now I Know

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NOW I KNOW

109                                                                                                                       09-29-2018

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation we can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – WHY YOU MUST REMAIN POSITIVE                                      SUBJECT BELIEFS

 n article 108 I discussed HOW UNDERSTANDING YOUR LEARNINGS HELP YOU. Therefore we have to learn to keep our thoughts positive by changing our attitude towards how we react to negative thoughts, events and people.

But why learn to be positive?

In his book, “The Hermit”, LobsangRampa on page 117 has the Monk say:-

“Learn to endure hunger now. Learn fortitude now. Learn always to have a positive approach NOW, for during your life you will know hunger and suffering; they will be your constant companions.

 here are many who will harm you, many who will attempt to drag you down to their level. Only by a positive mind – always positive – will you survive and surmount all those trials and tribulations which inexorably will be yours.

 NOW is the time to learn. ALWAYS is the time to practice what you learn NOW. So long as you have faith, so long as you are POSITIVE, then you can endure anything, and can emerge triumphant over the worst assaults of the enemy.”

 The young monk listening to these wise words in response thinks:-

“All these forecasts of near-doom to come. All these warnings and exhortations. Was NOTHING happy and bright in the life he had to live? But then her emembered his teachings; This is the World of Illusion. All life on this world is illusion. Here our Great Over-self sends its puppets that Knowledge may be gained, that imagined difficulties can be overcome.

 The more precious the material the more stringent the tests and only faulty material fails. This is the World of Illusion where Man himself is but a shadow, an extension in thought of the Great Over-self which dwells elsewhere.

 Still, he thought glumly, they COULD be a bit more cheerful. But then, it is said that no man is given more than he can bear, and Man himself chooses the tasks he shall perform, what tests he shall undergo.”

 Learning

So what is the learning here?

Because we choose our tasks while we are on this planet it is necessary to be able to endure the trials and tribulations we face.

To overcome the challenges it is necessary to have a positive approach to everything.

The lesson is to practice being positive all the time.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what is the real lesson to be learnt?

How to use:-

1) Accept you need to change your Attitude and Actions on a daily basis.

2) Read, view, discuss and learn other ways. Set time aside daily to study.

3) Practice a new action until it becomes a better habit. Then discuss with your friends.

Check out these links:-

To the blog:  – https://projectlel.wordpress.com/

 How to Turn a Negative Situation into a Positive One | Brian Tracy

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sp68AsDxQ0

 Your Comments Welcome:-

Your comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Please record them on the blog.

 

 

Now I Know

Learning exp.png

NOW I KNOW

108                                                                                                                       09-29-2018

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation we can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW UNDERSTANDING YOUR LEARNINGS HELPS YOU SUBJECT: BELIEFS

 David Joshua Stone in his book “Soul Psychology” page 284 says:-

“Practice self-inquiry with your negative emotions, as you practice attitudinal healing.

When a negative emotion comes up, immediately reinterpret the situation with your Christ mind, which will instantly release the negative emotion. There is also a time and place for catharsis – for giving it expression as a form of release. As you acquire mastery of the process of attitudinal healing, you will need to rely on catharsis less and less. Your capacity to remain in a state conscious of love, joy, even mindedness, inner peace, and forgiveness will increase over time.”

Therefore, through the “self-inquiry” process it is important to treat every negative event or person, as an opportunity to learn.

This means to learn to understand the experience as a guide where you need to change your attitude, release the issue and remain in a state of love, joy, ever increasing inner peace and forgiveness.

Further on he says:-

Do not give physicality your power. Know in truth that it is an illusion, for Christ cannot be sick. As Paramhansa Yogananda said, even on your deathbed you should be affirming that you are in perfect, radiant health. Whatever you think programs your subconscious to create that thought form in your physical body.”

 So you are what you think!

 Learning

So what is the learning here?

We have to know that our thoughts create our reality.

Therefore we have to learn to keep our thoughts positive by changing our attitude towards how we react to negative thoughts, events and people..

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what is the real lesson to be learnt?

How to use:-

1) Accept you need to change your Attitude and Actions on a daily basis.

2) Read, view, discuss and learn other ways. Set time aside daily to study.

3) Practice a new action until it becomes a better habit. Then discuss with your friends.

Check out these links:-

To the blog:  – https://projectlel.wordpress.com/

 What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI

 Understanding Your Learning Style

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MMiKcwDSVw

 Your Comments Welcome:-

Your comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Please record them on the blog.

 

 

Now I Know

Love

NOW I KNOW

107                                                                                                                       09-15-2018

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation we can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – ROMANTIC OR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SUBJECT: RELATIONSHIPS

 There is a difference between “Soul Mates’ and “Twin Souls” as explained by Michael Mirdad in his video “Soul Mates & Twin Souls (The Real Story).

His video is very revealing in providing the answer to the question – “Who is your Soul Mate?” The answer is everyone! Why, because we are all part of the same GOD but in an individualised form.

What about – “Who is your Twin Flame?”Here the answer is no one! Why? Because there is no half GOD, so there are no half twins!

However, a person may associate with others in a team or partnership and feel a greater power of connection with another.

If you are still with me, let’s consider the word “Love”. It is the driving force of everyone. Why? Remember from the bible, 1 John 4 16 “God is love.”

 In my view this “Universal God Love” is “Unconditional Love” where there are no restrictions no limitations no demands no regrets. Like the trunk of the “Tree of Life” it supports all other “Conditional Loves” such as:-

  • Love of your children
  • Love of your Pets
  • Love of your Parents
  • Romantic Love

So what about “Romantic Love”? This was created , according to Wikipedia, “ Historically, the term romance originates with the medieval ideal of chivalry as set out in chivalric romance literature.”

Rather like the mid-19th Century arrival of Santa Claus as a marketing gimmick in the USA these two beliefs have spread worldwide and are accepted by most without question.

Now days, we are conditioned to believe “Romantic Love” is real love as popularized by Hollywood.

“Romantic Love” is a modification of or an off-shoot of “Unconditional Love” – the real love.

 Learning

So what is the learning here?

We have to realise that “Romantic Love “is contrived and conditioned, as compared to “Unconditional Love”

Remember that seeking and expressing “Unconditional Love” is our purpose here in this life.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what is the real lesson to be learnt?

How to use:-

1) Accept you need to change your Attitude and Actions on a daily basis.

2) Read, view, discuss and learn other ways. Set time aside daily to study.

3) Practice a new action until it becomes a better habit. Then discuss with your friends.

Check out these links:-

To the blog:  – https://projectlel.wordpress.com/

 Soul Mates & Twin Souls (The Real Story)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cw6i5sAskDs

 Unconditional Love & Romantic Relationships

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QQbBzWDucQ

 Your Comments Welcome:-

Your comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Please record them on the blog.

 

 

Now I know

Rehab

NOW I KNOW

105                                                                                                                       09-08-2018

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation we can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – PRISON OR REHABILITATION – WHAT DO WE WANT? SUBJECT: HEALTH

 There was an article in the NZ Herald 22/08/18 that had the heading: – “Maori must lead prison solution”.

In New Zealand Maori make up 50% of about 10,000 people in prison but are only 15% of the total population!

Here in this little country there is a “Three Strike” law that is not working as there is an increasing likelihood that those convicted for serious violence will strike again.

Is punishment enough or should there be some form of rehabilitation or re-integration programs to help criminals back into society?

The article quoted the Minister of Corrections who said:-

The system needed to change but the Government needed to change its attitude. As a government we need to make sure the system helps and does not hurt Maori further.”

From the point-of-view of treating every event or person as a learning experience the answer to this question could be:-

  • Establish the cause of difficult parenting when families have extra large numbers.
  • Check the effect of easy welfare income which has ledto generational families not ever working
  • Assess the need for parenting instruction so as to live in today’s society
  • Offer work for the dole schemes to allow everyone to contribute
  • Restrict the size of families where Government assistance is provided

Learning

So what is the learning here?

Established systems need to be reviewed and if the evidence points to changes then then they should be instituted.

Systems that deal with reducing the cause of problems are better than ones that only deal with the symptoms.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what is the real lesson to be learnt?

How to use:-

1) Accept you need to change your Attitude and Actions on a daily basis.

2) Read, view, discuss and learn other ways. Set time aside daily to study.

3) Practice a new action until it becomes a better habit. Then discuss with your friends.

Check out these links:-

To the blog:  – https://projectlel.wordpress.com/

 The 5 Minute MIND EXERCISE That Will CHANGE YOUR LIFE

 Your Comments Welcome:-

Your comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Please record them on the blog.

 

 

Now I Know

Sale

NOW I KNOW

105                                                                                                                       09-01-2018

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situationwecan imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW TO BID TO GET ATTENTION SUBJECT: RELATIONSHIPS

 I had one day only free this week.

Both my suggestions for meeting my friend for lunch or dinner on that day were turned down. Not rejected, but turned down because she was too busy at meetings and in the evening, collecting her cousin from the airport.

In his book, “The Relationship Cure”, John M. Gottman defined a Bid to get attention as:-

  • A question;
  • A look;
  • A touch;
  • A text or
  • Any single expression that says ‘I want to be connected to you.

His book gives a ‘5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family and Friendships’. These steps are set out on page 4:-

“1) Analyse the way you bid and the way you respond to others bids.

  2) Discover how your brain’s emotional command systems affect your bidding process.

  3) Examine how your emotional heritage impacts your ability to connect with others.

  4) Develop your emotional communication skills.

  5) Find shared meaning with others.”

So my unsuccessful bid to meet for lunch or dinner was acknowledged by my friend’s texts. The intention was recognized but outside forces had prohibited us getting together.

As Gottman says on page 5:-

“It’s almost as if all the good feelings they’ve accumulated by responding respectively and lovingly to one another’s ‘bids’ form a pot of money in the bank.”

 So I am looking forward to our next meeting.

Learning

So what is the learning here?

First you must analyse the way you bid and the way you respond to others bids for attention.

Then you can discuss, examine and develop your emotional communication skills.

So get out and enjoy your life.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what is the real lesson to be learnt?

How to use:-

1) Accept you need to change your Attitude and Actions on a daily basis.

2) Read, view, discuss and learn other ways. Set time aside daily to study.

3) Practice a new action until it becomes a better habit. Then discuss with your friends.

Check out these links:-

To the blog:  – https://projectlel.wordpress.com/

 Lesson 4 – Dealing with Bids for Attention and Power

 Your Comments Welcome:-

Your comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Please record them on the blog.