Now I Know

Humble

051                                                                                                              06 August 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – IT IS HARD TO LEARN HUMILITY!!

Several days ago I was invited to attend a small function with my oldest friend. It turned out it was his birthday. For me, I have reached the stage in my life that I do not bother with celebrating my birthday and I certainly don’t keep track of others!

At the function were some new people in the life of my friend and I was pleased for him. While I was there I reflected upon my friend’s life and realized, in my opinion, that he was here to learn humility!

As a young man he was very very competitive in his sports – rugby, cricket and table tennis. As well, to be on top of his game he became very assertive and arrogant. This attitude then transferred into his business activities where he achieved financial success and became a “millionaire”, not once but three times! He lived in large homes in the wealthy suburbs and drove around in European cars. He was a member of the “right” tennis clubs, played golf and his children went to the top schools.

You may ask, why did he become a millionaire three times? The answer is because he lost his wealth three times! His business activities failed three times.

Now he is the caretaker of a large block of apartments living with his wife in a small apartment in the building. On the way out after the function, my friend showed me how clean and tidy he maintained the walkways, drive, and gardens. He said he had received a bonus from the residents because of the quality of his work. He was proud of what he was doing.Now, he did not need to live in a fashionable house or drive the latest expensive car or own a successful business to be happy.

He had learned humility!

Learnings

Your learnings do not become clear and obvious when you are young. Even as you grow the fact you are repeating a situation over and over again does not register as a learning experience. A coincidence, maybe, but not as a learning experience.

It is only, when much water has passed under the bridge, that you realize you are repeating the same mistakes and you change and finally become happy.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

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050                                                                                                                    04 August 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – WHAT TO DO AFTER LOSING. TRANSFORM!

The other day I had a meeting with an ex-client that lasted five hours! We had not seen each other for over twelve months so we had a lot to catch up.

My first impression of her was that she looked, sounded and acted with purpose and passion. She looked wonderful and gave the impression of vibrancy!

Why? That was the question I asked her because I knew of the difficulties she had faced over the past years. Some would expect the pain and disappointment she had suffered would leave her scared and bitter for the rest of her life.

She had gone through a traumatic custody battle with her ex-husband and had lost the right to be responsible for her 10-year-old daughter. As well, in the past twelve months, she had applied for a grant to help fund the start-up of her business. She had not been successful.

For many, these disappointments would be too hard to bear.  But not my friend. She had moved on from the custody issue and had re-financed her home to gain funds for her business. She had transformed.

As well, she had leased out her home and downsized to rent a room that was financially advantageous to her.

We also discussed how we could work together importing items from her overseas contacts.

She was now ready to start on a major overseas trip and she was positive, committed and in control.

Learnings

Every challenge or obstacle you face is a learning opportunity.

My friend learnt to move on, transform and re-organise her life and was now looking forward to her next adventure.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?

 

Now I Know

couple 

049                                                                                                             02 July 2017

MY KNOWING

We are all here to live every situation you can imagine, good or bad; right or wrong; positive or negative. Why? So we can learn from the experience as part of the adventure of life.  Murray Kibblewhite

CASE STUDY – HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER

Recently I had a long discussion with an ex-client about relationships. She had been married twice and the last divorce happened eight years ago.Now she was living with her twelve year old daughter sharing her with her ex-husband who had re-married and lived nearby.

Having suffered some physical disability she was now able to refocus on her career. This time she wanted to be the boss. This time she wanted to own her own business mainly to be able to work at times that suited her and to make it easier to look after her daughter.

She disclosed she had re-connected with a male friend from schooldays who was still living in South Africa looking after his elderly mother and had never married. She said that she was aroused and became interested in him after a phone conversation withhim when she had returned to her home country several months previously. She admitted that her interest in him was probably sparked by his comment that he had a crush on her from schooldays and she in turn was lonely as she was getting over a break up with a boyfriend.

However, during a recent international call he became upset with her and their disagreement led to him declining to talk with her. She was unsure what was likely to happen now. She asked me what I thought.

In my eyes the chances of this relationship ever developing on a sound basis was unlikely. This was because with each partner in another country and with responsibilities prohibiting either one shifting to the country of the other, the possibilities of getting together were remote. As well, their interests were quite different as were their values.

There are many matters to contemplate when considering a long term relationship. A schoolboy crush or feeling lonely are not sufficient for a full time connection.

Learnings

The learning here is for both people to realise that attraction alone, is not enough.

There are many issues that need to be considered, and with both parties living in different countries, each with their own major responsibilities, a long tern association at this stage is not possible.

Finally, having read my article she said the lesson for her was, “there is a bigger plan for me than surrendering to mediocrity”.

All life’s experiences are opportunities to learn. The challenge is to decide, what are the real lessons to be learnt?